Achmed The Dead Terrorist
Below are some unusual things you never knew about Achmed The Dead Terrorist
(Please note these are all completely fictional).
1: When Achmed the dead terrorist was born the doctor said “Holy Mother Mary” and Achmed looked up at the doc and said “Silence! I Kill You!“
2: When Achmed went to school for the very first time he asked the teacher if his classmates were his 72 virgins. When the teacher replied no, Achmed said that he can’t be in heaven then.
3: Achmed’s favorite computer game is the 1980’s classic called Bombjack.
4: Achmed is in fact a homosexual terrorist. He openly admits to enjoying his close relationship with Jeff Dunham when Jeff does his ventriloquist “act” on Achmed. You’ll notice this when you see his eyebrows raise each time, and that’s why Jeff is always smiling too!
5: Achmed is currently doing training to become a member of the US Army.
6: Achmed used to weigh 400 pounds in weight before his unfortunate accident where he sustained his so called flesh wound.
7: Achmed is in fact not a dead terrorist. It’s all a case of mistaken identity. He used to work for a supermarket chain filling up the shelves in the evenings but one hot summers day he dropped some soda and things went wrong, after which he opened one of the bottles and there was one almighty explosion.
8: Achmed’s Turban is made from a special blend of Tissue paper. When he sweats it absorbs the sweat and he simply has to replace the tissue paper.
9: Achmed frequently dreams about pizza. His favorite pizza is an Italian Margherita with extra cheese. If he could, Achmed would eat pizza 3 times a day.
10: Achmed loves horse riding. In fact he loves nothing more than getting on the back of Jeffus Dunhammus, an ex race horse, and taking him for a gallop across the open countryside along the riverside.
11: Achmed loves a good horror film. His favorites are creepy ghostly films, but he ends up having to share the couch with a bag of potato chips and a cheese dip. He says that the films are terrifying.
12: Achmed has a pet poodle dog. It’s a small white one with a fluffy white tail. He calls it Coco and is 5 years old.
13: Achmed the dead terrorist is actual from East Germany. He studied law and English for 3 years before becoming a cheese maker at a local farm.
14: Achmed never intended on becoming a comedian. He was working a Saturday cleaning shift at the theater just minding his own business when Jeff Dunham came in and complained that one of his other puppets called Bubba J had called in sick that day and wouldn’t be able to go on stage all week. Well when Jeff Dunham say Achmed, Achmed smiled, and well, the rest is history. Jeff’s had his hand firmly up Achmed’s derriere ever since!
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by Shaun Baird
