News Flash: Your life just burst into flames and crashed in the middle of the mountains, will you survive infidelity in your marriage? Let’s find out.
Jump back in time into the recent past.
You were set on a path. Your life had a course and destination. Things were in order. The sun shined and the moon glowed in the night sky. The planets and stars aligned and the world was at your finger tips. It all made sense. You and your spouse had a good life. You got along. You had dinners out.
Flash forward to the future.
There was a burst of flame in the engine. Smoke shot out into the blue sky. Loud banging noises filled the cabin. You discovered your spouse was having an affair and now your life is now set on an inevitable course to nose dive into the mountainside below.
What are you going to do now?
The Bad News: Not everyone will survive infidelity in their marriage. Sure they will feel better in time, but they will not fully recover from their spouse cheating on them.
The Good News: Everyone has the ability to survive it if they take control of their inner voices.
But how do you know if you will survive the affair?
5 Warning Signs You Will Not Survive the Affair
1. You believe you are not good enough.
Seems simple enough. Your husband or wife cheated on your because they found someone better: sexier, prettier, more fun, more understanding, less confrontational and less judgmental. If you cannot break this poisonous thinking then not only will your plane continue to crash into the waters beneath you as you drown in your own sorrow, but do you think your spouse will wish to make things right with you?
Despite their horrible decision to cheat in the end they need a reason to reconcile, don’t they?
2. You beg your spouse to stay.
You were caught off guard. There were little or no warning signs. Your plane suddenly began to malfunction and all the sensors spun out of control. You did not have a back up plan, an escape plan in case of an emergency. Your mind says to panic. And that’s what you do. Although it was your husband or wife’s choice to have an affair you are the one asking for forgiveness. You are the one making promises of change in hope to give them a reason to continue on with the relationship.
How did you end up on the wrong side of begging?
3. You blame the other sex.
Men are pigs. Women are whores. Every finger on your hand is used to point and blame the other sex. “How can he cheat on me I am such a loving wife and mother to our children?”, you ask yourself a thousand times. “She is sex crazed. Have I not been a good enough provider? Did I not surround her with the things she needed?”, you keep thinking.
Do you really think every woman or every man would have acted the same way?
4. You cannot stop thinking about the times you spent with him/her.
The seems to be picking up speed as it roars down toward the ground. Your life flashes before your eyes. The realization begins to set it that the relationship may be over. Like a million frames of a movie flying through your mind, each remaining second ticking, you visit every romantic and memorable moment you spent with your spouse. A sudden urge to not let go sweeps over your body.
He/she just made the most harmful decision for your relationship and has caused you relentless emotional pain, what good is it going to do you to keep stabbing your wounds?
5. You turn to medicine.
The left-wing engine has now become completely engulfed in flames and you are so close to the surface below that you can make out many details. Is this the end? Are there any last-ditch options? Will a parachute save me? Can we land in water? The nerves in your stomach and chest vibrate from the anxiety attack as you picture your life alone without a husband or wife. You cannot seem to take control of the inner voices telling you that your life is destined for despair and never-ending pain, no one to love you, no one to hold you.
So you decide since you cannot control your mind, the only way to get through this is with medicine. It will calm my nerves and put me in a relaxed frame of mind.
The problem is the engine is broken, until you land the plane, start over and fix it, it will still be broken.
Do you think sticking a bandage on your emotions is going to fix your own problems, let alone fix your spouse’s problems?
(I am not a professional, but my past experience with psychiatric medicine is it did little to fix the problem. What fixed it was fixing my mind.)
When I caught my wife in an emotional affair what got me through the pain were mind shifts. It wasn’t easy at first, but it did not take long either. Without the advice I found on the internet I would have not gotten through. My plane started to nose dive too, but I found a way to safely land the plane and fly again.
And you know what?