Air Traffic Controllers Are Not Falling Asleep By Accident – Aliens!

Many people think that the air traffic controllers who are falling asleep, are either lazy, overworked, or incompetent, but that’s not true. There’s a lot more to this story, and you’re probably not going to believe it when I tell you. Yes, this is a conspiracy theory of epic proportions, and one I just made up on the spot, 15 minutes before I wrote this article for you. Now then, let me explain the details.

There was a very interesting article in the Wall Street Journal on April 23, 2011 written by Langhorne Bond and Robert W Poole Junior titled “Why Air Traffic Controllers Fall Asleep on the Job,” and it was amazing the number of excuses that were listed. One excuse was that there was a shortage of air traffic controllers which is actually true, and that many air traffic controllers were running multiple shifts without enough sleep in between.

The Federal Aviation Administration has put forth new rules that would require at least nine hours of sleep between shifts. Since there are three shifts a day of eight hours totaling 24 hours for each day, that would mean that no air traffic controller could work back-to-back shifts, or every other shift. Some air traffic controllers don’t like this idea because working overtime means they make quite a bit more money, and many of them sign up for additional hours to collect overtime pay. Now that will stop.

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However, these ATC employees are quite used to working multiple shifts, therefore, they are conditioned not to fall asleep. So why are they falling asleep? Well, I’d like to enlighten you of a conspiracy theory that I just made up the other day to explain this.

You see, when alien spaceships are taking off from their underground facilities and flying through US airspace, they don’t want to be seen by our air traffic controllers, therefore they Institute brainwaves which change the resonance of the computer screens that the air traffic controllers are looking at, and these brain waves cause the air traffic controllers to fall sleep, thus they will not see the alien spacecraft streaking across their radar screen.

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The United States Air Force and DARPA have discovered this, but they don’t dare tell the public, instead they are trying to figure out how the aliens are doing this with their electronic gadgetry because our military believes this might be a good technique to help our stealth aircraft get in and out of the battlespace without being seen, even with the new radar systems being developed, which can almost see stealth aircraft now.

Please don’t tell anybody else this little secret because this is classified information. Indeed, I hope you have enjoyed today’s conspiracy theory, and I hope you will tune in again the next time I just make one up out of the blue. If you have any good conspiracy theories, or have made up any yourself, please shoot me an e-mail.

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by Lance Winslow