Here I am … over fifty and dating. It is new territory for me, for I never really dated before. Both of my prior relationships just kind of materialized … we happened upon one another … there was attraction … so I went with it. In other words, I never really consciously chose either man. Now, don't get me wrong … I did love each of them at the time … or so it seemed. The first I married and was with for 11 years … and the second I was involved with for 17 years. Bill, who was my second relationship, I consider to be very close to "the love of my life". He passed away two years ago … hence my venturing into the dating world.
Dating has really stirred up "the voices"! Not only those in my mind … but plenty of those belonging to friends and family. They are like Demons waiting to attack! I have one son who does not want me to date at all … some who try to convince me that all men are liars and cannot be trusted … and finally those who encourage me to let loose, have fun, enjoy the sex and not be so serious. The worst of all are the ones that suggest that there are no men available to date at my age or that each one I date may be the last!
It is easiest to shut out the "other voices". I don't believe all men are bad … I think I deserve to have a healthy relationship with a man … and although not a total prude, I am not ready to just have sex with each guy that I meet. The "inner voices" are another story. They are the ones that question my worthiness and cause me to question behaviors and statements.
I have to tell you that I have probably been out with at least 20 different men … 3 that I actually dated. All were met via online dating. I have learned there are plenty of men interested in 50+ women … there are lots of fine gentlemen who are not liars and you can meet and not have sex on the first date! When the "other voices" speak … I just smile and dismiss their comments. And, when the "inner voices" start to make me doubt my attractiveness and / or worthiness, I dismiss them as well!
You may be wondering how I so easily dismiss all of this inner and outer advice. It is simple. I am a Clairgnostic … one who believes in God, Spirit, or Higher Power because I have experienced Him / Her / It. Clairgnosis is achieved when one develops an interactive relationship with God, Spirit or Higher Power where communication is a back and forth process. I like to tell people that it is like "feeling the virtual hug of God." It is this special relationship with God that allows me to put everything in a different perspective. And when those "voices" start … I ask Spirit to help me silence them. The silence creates space for Divine guidance to come through … which it does!
In closing, here are my techniques for handling "Demons and Dating":
1. Stop listening to the "voices".
2. Believe that God, Spirit or Higher Power is there for you … just ask for guidance.
3. When the "inner voices" start to chatter … focus on your breathing to quiet them so Divine Guidance can come through.
4. Go into each encounter with a positive mindset … portray the attitude that you wish to encounter.
5. Speak positively about your dating process.
6. Let Go. Do not dwell on nor continually speak of bad experiences … this just gives them power.
7. Know that dating is a learning process. We attract a reflection of who we are … so pay attention!