Are you currently satisfied with the relationship that you share with your partner? Is your relationship with your partner not as loving or fulfilling as it used to be? How is it possible for you to turn this around and make your relationship as sweet and juicy as it used to be?
Today you will be learning an NLP technique which you can use to rekindle the great moments you once had with your loved one, by discovering you and your partner’s love strategies.
Why Learn NLP strategies?
In NLP, we believe that everyone has a strategy for doing anything in his/her life. You have a strategy for getting motivated, feeling joyful, confident, angry, depressed etc.
Likewise, people also have a strategy for falling in love, a strategy for feeling loved, falling out of love etc. But our main intention here is to elicit our strategy for feeling loved.
By definition, a strategy in NLP terms is referred as a specific sequence of internal and external representations that lead to a specific outcome.
For example, when someone touches you in a certain way, you feel loved, not because of the touch itself, but the meaning you link to the touch in your head. Again, nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning we give it.
So when you learn about NLP strategies, you are effectively asking yourself “What must happen in order for us to feel loved?”
Process of NLP Strategies Elicitation
First and foremost, we have to realize that everyone uses a different strategy for feeling loved.
There’s a need to remember that the map is not the territory. We must always strive to give what others think they need and value most, not what we think they need and value most.
For some people, they tend to feel loved just through a simple touch with full attention; some people prefer to hear the “3 magical words” from their partners in order to feel loved; some peoples’ strategies may be as complicated as a combination of “seeing something, hearing something, and then being touched in a very specific way”.
Bottom line, you will have to be able to discover your own love strategy and your partner’s love strategy in order to make your relationship work out well!
So how do you go about eliciting your partner’s love strategy?
Eliciting a love strategy in 3 simple steps:
1. How do you know someone else loves you?
2. Can you remember a time when you were totally loved? Can you recall a specific time? As you return to the time when you were feeling totally loved, what exactly was going on your external and internal world?
3. In order to know you are totally loved, is it necessary for you to
* Be taken to places and bought things or to be looked at with that special look?
* Hear that special tone of voice or those special words?
* Be touched in a certain way or a certain place
As you can see, eliciting a love strategy from someone or for yourself can be simple as ABC.
Finally, I’d just like to review some other presuppositions or frameworks that you may find helpful in creating a great relationship with your loved ones:
The meaning of communication is the response you get
When you communicate love to your partner, what’s the best way for them to understand and appreciate what you are intending? If the “wrong” message is received, it is your responsibility to change your approach.
Every communication in this world can be defined either as an expression of love or cry for help
People do strange things at times, yet if you really examine the innermost intention, we can always find a positive intention behind every behaviour- either to love or cry for help.
We might not recognize the cry for help, especially if it takes the form of anger, jealousy or cruel sarcasm, but it is still there.
If you can just keep these presuppositions in mind, you might find yourself seeing more of the best in the people you love, and the best of yourself!
Remember, you are not limited to using NLP strategies on your love life. Try it on other areas of your life too and prepared to be amazed by what you will get.