When you’ve been accused of cheating, your first reaction may be to go on the defensive. It’s very common and completely natural to feel as if you are being attacked when your partner thinks you’re having an affair. After that initial reaction, take a step back to examine your relationship.
Most men and women wouldn’t even conceive the idea of you being unfaithful if things were hunky dory in your relationship. So, what is missing? What brought out this green eyed monster in your mate? It’s up to you to be the detective and figure out where your marriage has gone awry. Follow these steps to get back on the right path after you’ve been accused of cheating.
First and foremost you need to assure your partner that you’re not cheating (if in fact you are not). This solves two problems. It helps build your spouse up and helps to build you up in your spouses’ eyes. Explain that you understand things aren’t right in your marriage and that you’re willing to do whatever it takes to make it better so that she never has reason to cheat again.
Secondly, have a candid conversation about what made your partner even think that you were having an affair. You are going to have to come right out and ask her what is going on that she would think that. Have your habits or behaviors suddenly changed? Is your relationship strained? Understand that your spouse may not even know what is causing her uneasiness and you may have to start asking lots of very pointed questions to get to the bottom of it. Do not take offense when your wife starts telling you what she feels is wrong and what brought about the concern to begin with. Remember that you are trying to find out from your wife what caused HER concern and it’s most likely going to be something she perceives you said or did.
Finally, don’t be afraid to change. It’s going to take massive amounts of work to overcome whatever your wife told you was at the root of her concerns but it will be well worth it in the end. Keep in mind as you’re working through these issues that you may have some of your own issues with your wife and there may be some things that she needs to change as well. However, remember that she had enough concern about your relationship that she thought you were having an affair and right now your job is to get past those feelings. Once you begin to make some progress and changes then you can slowly broach the subject of what you feel is lacking in your relationship. For now, focus on your wife.
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by Brandi Simon
