Lately, I have found that freedom is very important when you love someone and want to have a long term relationship.
These days, it’s a REAL challenge to find a person with whom to share the rest of our lives. We are too busy to invest the time needed to nurture a long term relationship, nor do we spend enough time thinking about what’s most important to a strong partnership.
I think there a lot of things that need care in a relationship: Communication, Love, Respect, Commitment, Honesty… and Freedom is one of the most important. A free person is a person who has the power to act or speak or think by him/herself. True love allows us to follow our own path.
When we are in love, we tend to control the other person and expect them to do only the things we like. If this doesn’t happen, we are disappointed and feel angry or annoyed. When we fall in love we want to please the other person and “change” our freedom to do what they want. This is OK, but how long can we do this and remain happy? One week? One month? One year?
It takes time to realize that we are not happy just doing what our lovers want, and when we realize it, suffering occurs. The relationship starts to break off. We start to fight and blame the other person because we are not happy.
Who wants a relationship where there is no freedom to be ourselves? We want other person to love us like we imagine we want to be loved, which may not be the way our lovers may show us. We can have an image of the perfect partner and we know exactly how we want them to act. When we find a person we like, we bring our “dream character” to life… and our fantasy begins.
True love is unconditional but if we want our relationships to work, we can walk in our lovers’ shoes instead of imposing our own expectations on or trying to control them. Understand how they feel, who they are, what makes them happy, what their goals and dreams are. If they are happy with their own life and we’re happy with ours, then more possibilities exist for our relationships to work. We all have personal interests, desires, challenges and goals we want to accomplish. Instead of trying to change them – and change our lovers – be a part of those accomplishments, support our lovers and enjoy our relationships.
Here is what I affirm about my man: I want my man to have the freedom to choose what he wants, but he chooses me as his woman and lets me be an important part of his life… lol.