Laura and George Go to Pakistan to Watch Cricket Match

We’ve got hot news today in Idaho. I don’t know where to start.

First, we are missing two hundred head of elk. I think their bodies, legs, and tails are missing too. Some think the wolves have eaten them all up.

The state wants to kill wolves to stop them from eating the elk. They already kill them to stop them from killing sheep and cattle. I think the elk are just running from the wolves.

The reason the wolf population got low in this country was because they kill livestock so they were trapped, poisoned, and shot on sight.

There is quite a killing frenzy when wolves train there pups to kill.

There is a myth that wolves only kill to eat. No! They also kill to train their pups or just to have one heck of a good time with a flock of sheep. Sheep are easy prey for wolves that can bring down a bull elk.

My father had lots of wolf stories. He lived in northern Utah and Idaho before World War I. In the winter they traveled by horse-drawn sleigh to the school house at Sage Creek, Utah. Dad packed a 30-06 rifle to keep his sisters and younger brother from messing themselves when the wolves got too close to the sleigh.

Dad was a hunter. During the depression he wrote an article entitled, Will a Coyote Commit Suicide? That bought me milk when he sold the article to the Rocky Mountain News.

I still have a copy of that article. Dad shot a coyote for bounty but it got away by falling or jumping down into a crater up at Ten Mile Pass, near Soda Springs Idaho.

I don’t buy too many paintings because then where would I hang mine? But I did buy a painting from a Payson, Arizona artist I knew because it “looked like” that very same coyote.

My wife and I drove up to Ten Mile Pass where I slid off the road when the gravel embankment gave way. I had seen a sign mentioning the Oregon Trail so I stopped and backed off the road. I actually had to drive down into the flat and drive out on the Oregon Trail. There is an article on that somewhere in my list.

I didn’t find the crater where the coyote “committed suicide” but I did learn that my dad and my grandpa had no chance to raise cattle on their homestead. The rancher that rescued me had 500 head (along with bodies, legs, and tails) of furry Black Angus that he had to truck to American Falls every winter to keep them from freezing to death.

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I don’t know where he moved his family.

I hope he moved them.

The local rag said that the Buffalo herd in Yellowstone is diminishing in size. That’s good. There are too many and they wonder off the park and spread disease to cattle. The main reason there are fewer Buffalo is that they trap them and send them off to the slaughter house. That is called “game management.”

We have game management here in Idaho. It is called hunting.

I think hunting should be allowed in Yellowstone Park. Only Native Americans would be able to hunt. They could use or sell the meat to keep themselves from starving during the winter.

The Indians would hunt the buffalo using bows and arrows while riding bareback on wild stallions.

That would be a great tourist attraction that could attract more millions to Yellowstone.

Hunting would be during October when I’m not there.

I read that Bomb Building 101: Atomic Weapons is being taught at Georgetown University by Charles D. Ferguson. That way the terrorist will not have to import a bomb all the way from Russia. They can build it right in D.C.

Down in Florida, the Boy Scouts are in a dilemma. Their 165 acre camp along the Manatee River is worth tons of money and it may be sold. Maybe they need the money to pay attorneys to fight lawsuits about the Boy Scouts.

My question is this: Where are the scouts going to camp?

Last night we had a fish fry at the church to raise money for our scout troop. We have it every year.

My wife and I were elected last year to be the money and ticket collectors. I didn’t know it was for life but there we were last night.

We also set up a table offering flagpoles to help raise additional funds. Any profits from TopFlight flagpole sales at my site during March 2006 will be donated to the Boy Scouts. The site is

I thought this was funny. The Catholics are not much for tithing. Their parishes are 10 times as large as Protestant parishes and folks feel that they do not have to tithe because they don’t own the parishes, the clergy does.

Here is what Msgr. Carl Bell, pastor of St. Cyril of Jerusalem, said he once heard a bishop describe the state of giving in the Catholic Church:

If you have $50, you go out to dinner.

If you have $20, you go to a movie.

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If you have $10, you get fast food.

But, if you have $1, you go to church.

I thought we Mormons might be mentioned in the article because even tiny children pay tithing, but we were not.

Our rag said that they are going to return the AC-130 gunships to Iraq. General Frank Gorenc said, “It’s got tons of guns and all kinds of stuff on it that can be applied to the problems we have.”

Now that will calm everyone down when they start blowing the hell out of garbage cans on the streets of Baghdad.

“All kinds of stuff.”

What kind of general talk is that?

Here is an understatement by our State Department: Days of bloodshed between religious sects in Iraq show that the United States still has work to do to achieve a new, broadly representative Iraqi government.

Right on!

The work should consist of this: Bring Our Troops Home this Year.

Did you read about that guy in Spokane that hijacked a bus to take him to a bar? When he got to the bar he shot up the place.

Fortunately, he was a lousy shot.

He was about the same age as Dick Cheney.

Well, Cheney is four years younger and a better shot.

I don’t know how the President and his beautiful wife, Laura, got tricked into going to that cricket match in Pakistan.

I guess the Pakistanis don’t like Bush that much.

They must hate him.

I use to have my British friends tell me the rules of cricket whenever I visited England. At one period of time, I went to England every quarter to a research meeting. I always asked to hear those cricket rules just one more time.

I think the game can be compared to curling.

It’s a stupid game. (Well, most good games are.)

The bowler does not bowl like we do.

Well, you read the rules of cricket at [] and let me know if you can figure it out.

The players never know which way in all wicket to go; the dog’s side, the cock’s side, toward the knacker’s end or popper’s end.

Well, go Google a Six!

I’m sorry, George!

I’m sorry, Beautiful Laura!

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by John T Jones, Ph.D.